I’m getting close to the end of my program. I can hardly believe how quickly it has gone by. As usual, I am filled with anxiety. In two weeks I’ll be in the school restaurant. In eight/nine weeks I’m suppose to start my externship. I’m freaking out.
I’m a little disappointed in myself. I still have very low confidence in my cooking skills. It doesn’t help that the chef instructors think I’m “great.” Apparently, from what one of them told me, they all had a pow-wow one day about me, and now my current chef instructor sort of plays favorite with me, and it makes me really uncomfortable. Worse so because I’m the only girl in my class. Even though I know I’ll probably cry, I wish a chef instructor would yell at me or something. Right now all this “encouragement” is only making me more unsure of myself. I’m struggling with finding a balance between using my sense and following directions exactly as they are given. My human and robot self won’t get along.
On a brighter note, I’m really enjoying my Wine and Beverage class. I was never really a drinker, and didn’t have my first drink until three months after my 21st birthday, but now I want to try everything. If I wasn’t frugal with my money and have better sense, I think I could very possibly become an alcoholic. Beer still tastes bad to me, but I’m not opposed to it. I’m really interested in mixed drinks, and I love the smell of most wines. Generally, I think I like the taste white wines more, but maybe I just need to have some kind of food pairing to better enjoy red wines.
I’m going to write a separate post on this, but lately I’ve become fascinated with vegan and raw diets. More later.