What’s Worse?

Knowing people have high expectations of you and struggling to achieve them?
Or having people look down on you/make fun of you and being unsure of what you’re capable of?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about a lot of different stuff. August is right around the corner and only a month remains of my summer break. For once, I think I am excited to go back to school. Being home this summer and without a job has been really stressful. My parents have been breathing down my back about being “productive” and stuff, but it’s not like I’ve been home everyday just bumming. With gas prices skyrocketing this summer, my hope of roadtripping up to Maine and camping for a few days has been thwarted. People that I had hoped to see and hang out with this summer have gone other places or have work schedules that don’t fit with mine.

I’m not really sure what I’m trying to write here. I just feel very…defeated. Last week when it was just me and my dad at home (my mom and sister went to orientation), we had a conversation in the car that is still troubling me and making me sad. Though I am excited to go back to Boston, especially since my  sister will be joining me there, I feel like everything is falling apart even though on the surface everything looks okay. Sort of like how the Ministry of Magic was when Voldemort returned. (Heh, I’ve been reading Harry Potter).

*****

Random. This video makes me smile.

 

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