A Sunday Morning Post
Good morning!
I know…my last post was so emo, don’t make fun. But just in case you didn’t realize, those were Linkin’ Park lyrics. Hahaha
Well, it’s a gorgeous day out in Boston. Clear blue skies, but I have yet to know how cold it is or whether it is windy out. I’m looking forward to the walk to church.
My friend Joyce came to Boston for the weekend. Last night we had a “dinner party” with some cousins and another friend from home. We had baked ziti, chicken, and key lime pie. Half way through dinner, the carbon monoxide alarm went off. We were all freaking out that we could be slowly dying. Turns out it just needed a change of battery. We rotated the battery instead of buying a new one; it wasn’t as loud, but it still made a little beeping noise. That was going to be annoying when we were sleeping so we just took the whole thing out. Hopefully there will be no real carbon monoxide seeping into our apartment anytime soon, or at least until we change the battery. (Pictures later)
So before we went to sleep, Joyce and I had a long conversation about a lot of things, but at one point it came to the “macro” decision that I would have to make, sooner than later. It’s killing me not knowing what to do. Always having this decision hang over my head as I spend my days pathetically bored and unemployed, it sucks. I wish I could come to some conclusion so the rest of my life can move on.
Superbowl Sunday. What are you doing?
I was going to write about something else, but now I forgot what it was.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
- Matthew 11: 28-30
Bathroom Dreams
Sometimes I have dreams with a lot of bathrooms/toilets in it. I think this probably happens because I actually have to use the bathroom in real life when I’m sleeping. In my dreams the toilets are always either really disgustingly dirty, broken, or like the hole-in-the-ground ones they have in China, which I still don’t understand how to use without getting my pants wet. (Pants go in front or back? One leg off? Off completely? MAN, guys have it easy!) Anyway, in one part of my dream of my quest to find a usable toilet, I discovered our toilet full of new and half-used rolls of toilet paper and old newspapers/magazines. Also, our toilet was gigantic like a tub so A LOT of rolls, newspapers and magazines fit in there. I found out from a roommate that late that night while the rest of us were asleep, two of our mutual friends came over and had done that prank. It was funny, but I was also sort of pissed (no pun intended, haha) because it was such a waste of toilet paper and I REALLY had to use the bathroom. The end.
Thoughts from Midnight
My head is spinning.
Usually I would just go to sleep and forget about all these miscellaneous thoughts, but I feel they are important and that I should “jot” them down before they disappear.
First, I want to say that I am really excited about the new sermon series that we are starting at High Rock Brookline called “Renovate.” We are entering into a season of spiritual renovation, as a church and as individuals. Some of the leaders and members of the church put together this really cool interactive daily devotional (that can be found here. It’s suppose to be a “secret” but I think they were joking. Also, if you want to follow along, you can listen to the sermons here, but I don’t think they posted this past Sunday’s up yet.) Yeah, so I went through the devotional today (or yesterday if you want to be technical) and wrote down my reaction to this renovation process beginning. (Was that a weird way to end a sentence?) Plainly, I’m thrilled. It’s something I know I NEED and I WANT it as well. There’s going to be a lot of demolition before rebuilding, and I know I’m probably going to brace myself with some resistance, but this will be good. My spiritual well has been dry for a long time. I want LIVING WATER.
Some scattered thoughts about school decisions. My cousins sort of convinced me that culinary is a better/more probable path for me than carpentry. I can be a bit stubborn (okay, more than a bit) and I was sort of set on risking and waiting to hear back from carpentry, but even so, I started to see their point. I don’t want to make this so absolute, but basically it’s going to be one or the other. I cannot pursue both. It would be pointless to start/finish one and then move on to the next. Anyway, this will be a macro decision, as a friend would say, because it will affect my situation for the next year or so and for the imminent months to come. A few examples: Will I be in NY or Boston? Will I be able to go on this missions trip? Will I be able to go on family vacation (that is already in the works)? And all this is going to affect the relationships I have or could potentially have…
By the way, my roommate from Freshmen year is engaged. !!!!!!!!
Mutual friends have been freaking out about this, saying “But they’re so young!”, and it seems that all around us people are getting together. Funny isn’t it? Because it’s February. Looooooove month. Hahaha. Anyway, I don’t think we’re that young anymore. We definitely are a different generation than our parents, but I never EVER hoped for myself to put career first and marry at like 30 or beyond. Then again, I’m pretty old-fashioned and mostly domesticated (haha, I make myself sound like some house pet). BUT! this doesn’t mean I’m not up for adventure. Hehhehheh…
So tonight I went to an InterVarsity meeting as usual on a Monday. We did a BGIG or a Big Group Investigating God. It was basically manuscript study. If you’re interested, we looked at John 5 about the invalid man by the pool and Jesus healing him. It was a good discussion, but I’m not going to write about that now. As I sat there partly taking in the story, partly observing who was in the room, it got me thinking about how much things have changed since last semester. Well I feel I was a very different person at the end-of-summer/last September than I am now. I know I’m constantly talking about this, but bitterness really did move into my soul. I look at the Freshmen who have, or appear to have, formed a really tight community and I reminisce about the first time I met them (yes, I remember each quite distinctly). I was more “bubbly” back then. I’m pretty sure they have notice some change in me as I am aware they are less incline to approach me now or talk to me as in days past. But anyway, it’s tough being in that environment. Ironic that I have yet to face down so many demons where God is suppose to be.
Jumping back to my scattered thoughts about school (I don’t feel like just scrolling up and adding on to that paragraph, okay?), I know I really need to pray about these/this/those decision(s) but I don’t think I ever really learned to listen to God’s voice, hence the situation I am in now. If I had understood where God was calling me to, I don’t think I’d be in this confused transitioning stage. Maybe it’s all part of the plan. Or maybe God is just having some fun. But yeah, this isn’t something that I can just eeny-meeny-miny-mo or take a tally of what other people think I should do and go with the one with the most votes. Actually, I don’t think the people that really cared about me would even participate in this imaginary “poll,” but…ahhhhh, I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore.
It’s 2:22am. I think that is the best I can do for now with my musings. I’m hungry. My feet are cold.
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